( gentaro lets it linger, soft and sweet. his head drops back down and his hands move to lazily trace shapes on dice’s bare chest, his chin comfortably resting there. )
You’re right. Five more minutes, at the bare minimum.
We don't gotta be ready 'til later, so i'm enjoying this as much as I can. Gotta relax before everything gets hype.
[He raises a hand to run his fingers through Gentaro's hair, fairly petting him. His heart aches a bit at just how precious Gentaro is, at how much he'd lose himself if he lost him.]
[He's still smiling, but his hand goes back to Gentaro's hair and he looks away shyly.]
It's kinda half that. I mean, I made a bet with myself over it. Sounds stupid, but it'll motivate me. More than that... I've been workin' on my music a lot lately, which I never thought for a second I'd get serious about, and it's like... Man, what if I've got chops? No, it's more like, what if I can show people how strong we are just by bein' good at it?
[A huff.]
That sounds like some weak-ass shit. I'm not really worried. If we lose, whatever, it's not like much is riding on it. But I wanna win, anyway.
( oh no. why is his fiancé so endearing? just when he couldn’t possibly fall in love with him more.
a smile and gentaro weaves his hand through the ends of dice’s hair. )
You know, that would track. After all, creative minds are drawn together, by destiny, fate and intuition. Pick your fancy ideological belief and therein lies a decent argument for it.
... Which is to say, a writer and a musician seems like a natural fit. Don’t you think?
( THIS IS HIM SAYING he is proud and thinks the world of dice and digs his jams. )
[Dice looks back at him and maybe, just maybe his cheeks go a little pink. There's a lengthy pause, and a light bulb comes on in his brain.]
Yeah. It does.
[It's still weird to get used to someone thinking the world of him. Someone supporting him, even if he's dumb or idealistic or full of bad life choices. Gentaro was the only good choice he ever had to make, and he was damn well the easiest.
His mind shifts to the dice in the drawer of his nightstand, luckier than anything has any right to be.]
Alright. I got a plan. We win either way. You ready for this?
( it’s strange, the adrenaline he feels whenever dice is about to tell him some wild idea or story. before, it all had just been a breath of fresh air and a character leaping off the paper, unable to be crammed into a stereotype. now? now he’s just so in love and enamored by it all. )
The bet I made with myself is that I'd marry you, like, tomorrow if we win.
[He's feeling it. The same adrenaline. The bet is on the tip of his tongue, the bet he's going to make with Gentaro, dragging him into his world for once, showing him that thrill only Dice knows how to perfectly chase.]
But if we lose, I wanna make it up to you. You don't have to trust me with this, it's fine if you don't if I fuck this up, but... Let me write a backing track for you.
gentaro is quiet, just listening. his fingers play with the bead in dice’s hair and the smile grows. this idiot loves him. he genuinely loves him and knows so much about him. )
All right. I’ll take that wager.
( he idly reaches for dice’s left hand, letting their rings clink softly in the quiet of their bedroom. )
But you ought to know... I trust you with everything.
[Dice closes his eyes, feeling Gentaro's hand in his and savoring it. This is what mornings are for. Sitting here and saying stupid things because they can, saying what he really means before he's awake enough to think...]
I want you to trust me with Stella.
[Something that's as important to Dice as Gentaro himself. An extension of them.]
( ah. how did he know? then again, how could it be anything but? )
I trusted you with it the moment I whispered it to you in hopes of stealing you for myself.
( he just hadn’t been fully aware of what he was doing at the time, too ignorant of his own heart’s desires, too used to being hurt and life stealing away what he cared for. )
[Because Dice is a dumbass with a one-track mind? And the track is not currently sex? It is currently on Gentaro?]
Yeah, well, I'm taking it from you. I'll give it back when it's perfect.
[Who's the thief now? Dice is sick of it being tuneless, formless, shapeless, a collection of Gentaro's perfect thoughts not given a form he can share. He's changing that.]
( a soft, contented little sigh, the noise coming out as he nuzzles his mouth against dice’s. it’s a win-win. he gets his messiah in some fashion no matter the outcome. )
This hardly seems like a true bet. ( a smirk. it’s not a complaint. )
( when everything is finally out there, when he finally gets the courage to tell dice every lie he’s ever told and the even more seldom told truths. it doesn’t change who he is; his heart, how he feels about dice. nothing was ever fake about that.
gentaro knows how unfair it is that he still has a deep rooted fear that dice will leave. that’s not giving dice enough credit.
being alone again would kill him. )
You’ve already proven that point, dear. You nearly killed Cat even before you could get on her good side.
[When Dice knows everything, and can do the same, maybe they'll look at each other differently. Maybe there will be more compassion than passion, or maybe they'll love more fiercely than before. Dice doesn't know. He has secrets of his own. But nothing can make him give up on Gentaro.]
Poor little old me crept on in the middle of the night! For shame!
( a feigned maiden’s voice !!!
before it turns to a low murmur, hesitant, trying out the words. ) After that night, I wanted you to stay. Not just for a few hours, but for the night. Each and every time.
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